What you have is more than enough

Tony typically checks Facebook far more prolifically than I do, and cuddle bunnies that we are, I am sometimes curled up beside him when he does, reading his feed at the same time he does. For years now, long before Chronically Vintage and I joined Facebook in December 2012, I'd been doing just that, and have continued to ever since. In that time, I've noticed some striking differences between the typical kinds of content that appears in Tony's Facebook stream and that of my own.

Chief amongst which, and rather glaringly, is the fact that exponentially more posts that appear in my Facebook feed are geared towards getting the (typically female) reader to buy something. Now, it should be stated for the record of course, that the percentage of such "commercial" Facebook posts will be substantially influenced by what sites you've opted to like and who your friends there are.

Still though, the more time that's passed, the more I've come to see that on Facebook, as well certain other social media sites (Instagram springs to mind immediately), there is a substantially larger number of ad based posts encouraging customers to buy something in my own stream than in my husband’s.

While there are no shortage of ads and commercials out there that specific target males or which are designed to garner sales from both genders, I've long come to realize that women are often marketed to far more often, aggressively (as in the sheer number of ads we see), and with immense pressure to buy said item (or service, etc) in order to make ourselves, in the eyes of the public as seen via the advertiser's perspective, more attractive, desirable, important, worthwhile or popular.

In addition, it also seems (at least amongst those in the circles I travel in) that women are more apt to post about their latest buys on social media and their blogs, which in a round-about way begins to feel like a sort of advertising stream unto itself.

There is so much constant pressure to buy, buy, buy! Who cares if you just spent a $100 on a new jacket, surely, we're told day in and day out, there's a million other things we (supposedly) still need and simply must get ASAP!

Don't get me wrong, if doing so is financially viable, I love to shop - especially for vintage and second hand items from sources like thrift shops, yard sales, Etsy, and eBay and would miss it greatly if I wasn't able to so at least once in a while - but I have no desire whatsoever to give into the constant stream of ads or the peer pressure to keep up with the Joneses that can, and does, run rampant through both advertising and the fashion/lifestyle blogosphere.

Over the years, I've had a few dear online friends share with me that they couldn't help but feel a bit envious of the wardrobes of others in our vintage loving community, and in turn they felt guilty about having those kinds of covetous thoughts.

It breaks my heart to hear this, not so much because that person is experiencing a bit of jealously, but because they don't feel like their own wardrobe is up to par and/or they can't help but feel that they're not buying enough to make themselves as well liked/popular (especially on social media sites) as certain others in our midst.

While I wouldn't go so far as to say I've never longed for something that I saw another person have or which came to my attention via a Facebook post (or on Instragram or Twitter or Pinterest, etc), before the green eyed monster of jealousy can even so much as think about rearing its ugly head (generally speaking I'm not a jealous person at all in any area of my life, but it's simple human nature to want what is beyond our grasp at times and to feel envious of those who are able to obtain it), I remind myself of one simple, yet incredibly important fact.

What I have already is more than enough.

Just as what you have is almost certainly more than enough as well.

Seriously.

{Each of us is allotted a finite amount of time and money in this life, but our ability to feel happy with what we already have is limitless. Embrace what you own right now in the moment. Make do and mend. Stop comparing yourself to everyone and their well dressed dog, appreciate your existing good fortune, spend time with people instead of coveting their possessions from afar, and shop with love, not lust, in your heart. If you do these things, your world will change in untold positive ways. Click through to this image's source to read a powerful reminder of what how truly blessed we all are to own what we do.}


Stop for a moment and think about your closet? Is it bare? Unless you've experienced something horrible like being robbed or have recently gained or lost a very substantial amount of weight, chances are you have dozens of items of clothing on hangers and in your dresser drawers. You have makeup in your cosmetics case, hair accessories and lovely toiletries in the bathroom, and likely scores of different items (ranging from decor pieces to craft supplies) around your house, especially if you've been living on your own (aka, not in your parent's home) for more than a couple of years.

You probably never go hungry from lack of food in the house, and your utilities and housing are most likely able to be paid in a timely manner. You probably gave gifts to your loved ones last Christmas and received several in return. You may have a car, motorcycle, bicycle and/or boat to get you from point A to point B. Even if you have a very modest income, chances are, nearly all (or all) of your basic needs, plus several important but less vital wants, are covered right at this very moment.

For this, and so many other reasons, you are incredibly lucky. You are doing better than a staggering percentage of our fellow human beings around the world. We need to stop feeling like life is a never-ending shopping spree, where momentary want trumps long term desire, and where no matter how much one acquires, it's never enough. Because it is.

This doesn't mean that I'm implying you should lock up your wallet and never buy anything else again. Of course not! That would be foolhardy, impractical and completely unnecessary. No, what I'm trying to convey - and what I hope will be the resounding take-away message from this post - is that you're free to step off of the constant merry-go-round of consumerism any ol' time you like.

You don't need a 43rd dress, just because that stylish vintage/rockabilly/pinup gal you follow on Instagram just announced that she has "like 200 dresses now". Good for her. She is she, however, and you and you, and as I touched on in the post How to build a vintage wardrobe on a budget last year, you probably don't know the dynamics of how she came to possess so many garments and if she spent far beyond her means to acquire her wardrobe.

President Theodore Roosevelt famously said that "comparison is the thief of joy", and I could not possibly agree with that statement more. We - as a society - need to shift our thinking, at least some of the time, away from the constant desire to try and have “what that guy is having”, just because they have it and we don't. I can promise you that even if you think you don't have a lot, there are millions of people out there to whom your worldly possessions would seem almost like those of a king or queen.

Instead of constantly focusing on what to buy next, why not opt instead to think about ways in which to replenish some of the joy that constantly comparing yourself to others has robbed you of, that cost little to, ideally, nothing? (A point which Stephanie Lynn from The Girl with the Star Spangled Heart discussed in this post on contentment last year). There are countless lifetimes worth of such experiences out there, just waiting for us to step away from our Facebook feeds and discover or reconnect with them.

You are free to shop and do as you please. I don't believe in dictating to anyone. We're all adults and we're able to make our own choices, but it is truly beneficial to incorporate feeling content with what you already own, at least some days, into the fold of our lives.

It's a magical, incredibly liberating moment when you realize that what you have in your possession right now is more than enough. That you are richly blessed both in terms of what you own and the opportunities you've been afforded in life.

Today, on the 11th of November, the solemn date that marks Remembrance Day and honors the the memory of all those who gave and scarified, made do and survived with whatever they had at the time, I encourage you to find happiness both in what you already call your own.

Those things that cannot be bought on sale, like a quite walk in the woods, snuggling your pet, making your grandparents a special meal, giving of yourself and your time to a charitable cause, taking digital photographs, writing a snail mail letter to an old friend, or simply allotting an afternoon to yourself to try and restore a greater sense of tranquility and contentment to your world.

In doing so, I can all but assure you, the next time you do opt to buy something, when you get it home or it arrives in the mail, chances are, you won't feel as inclined to put it on a shelf, toss it in the back of your closet, or stuff it in a drawer and forget about it.

You won’t be quite as (if at all) consumed already with the desire to obtain the next item you simply "must" have, and that sense of inner peace with your possessions, your financial situation, and your place within the circles you inhabit, will make you feel happier and wealthier than any number of purchases ever could.

Believe me, I speak from experience, rooted in the knowledge that, though I am free to acquire more as I please, and to derive happiness from doing so, ultimately, what I am already blessed to own really and truly is all I'd need at this moment in my life.