Trying very hard to find the right balance (but I could really use your help)

{Vintage photo via cessnal152towser’s Flickr stream.}

Last night I could not sleep. I tossed and turned (thankfully my husband is a fairly sound sleeper and didn’t hear my stirrings), repeatedly got out of bed only to lay back down moments later. Such an occurrence is by no means entirely uncommon for me, but there are times when something is weighing heavily enough one one’s mind to the point of robbing them of slumber, that it is best to seek advice from those near and dear you. I sincerely value each of your opinions and friendships, and want to talk bluntly to you all about something that has been eating away at me for quite some time now, in the hopes that you could help me out with it.

A recent conversation with a very dear friend (and fellow blogger/photographer) of mine in which I spoke candidly about certain elements relating to my health helped to give me the courage I needed to turn to my readers for their impute on this matter. (Once the flood gates have opened, as they say...)

I’ll spare you the details (trust me, you want to be spared), but in short I am not in a good state of health. I have not been since I was 18 years old (I’m 25.5 now), as that was the age at which I developed almost all of the chronic illnesses that I now have (more recently however, one cropped up about three years ago). I’m not, truly thankfully, dying or facing a massive medical crisis at this moment, so please do not think that I was leading this post in that direction.

One of the by-products of some of my conditions (I have about a dozen different major, chronic illnesses and a small number of lesser, but still chronic, problems) is that they greatly impede on the amount of time I’m able to spend on the computer each day.

On what I’d dub a “fantastic day”, I’m able to devote about 1.5 hours to being at my computer (many days this number is smaller, very occasionally it’s slightly higher). Due largely to one of my conditions in particular, I’m forced to break my computer usage time up into approximately two to ten minute intervals throughout the day. While I wish I could spend hours on my laptop daily, doing so is not possible at this point in my life and I have come to terms with this. I’m grateful for the time that I do have on the computer and try to use it as wisely as I can.

However, it is virtually impossible for me to stay on top of everything I need (let alone “want”) to get done online, because my computer time is so greatly limited. Between emails, writing blog posts, administering and maintaining a website (that I founded in 2004) for people who share one of my conditions, devoting time to my photography, doing research, and a trove of other online activities (which, believe me, I’ve already greatly scaled back over the last few years), I continually feel as though I’m falling further and further behind on almost everything I need to do online and on my desktop (e.g. writing blog posts).

Over the past couple of days I took an earnest stab at trying to catch up on the wonderful comments that have been left for me during the last two weeks here on Chronically Vintage, however I wasn’t able to visit all of your blogs. This bothers me so, so much (I honestly get stomach pains just thinking that I’ve not been able to come visit all those who took the time out of their day to visit my site and share their awesome thoughts with me), yet sometimes in life one has to admit defeat. In this case, I’ve been whopped by the sheer volume of comments I’ve received lately.

As I say that, please know that from the bottom of my soul, I am massively appreciative of each of those comments. I cannot stress enough how much I treasure your visits and the wonderful words you leave beneath my humble posts.

And so in lies the predicament. As many of you know, staying up-to-date with your comments (by which I mean visiting and commenting on the sites of those who stop by your blog) can just about become a full time job – or at the very least, take upwards of several hours a day. I have to be perfectly honest, it is beyond my physical ability at this point in time to spend multiple hours a day on the computer (on any activity, be it writing posts, visiting blogs or otherwise), and so I’m left racked with guilt now because I haven’t been able to catch up with all of your comments.

Up until this point, about 98% of the time I have managed to catch-up sooner or later on your comments, but this time I simply cannot. I’m truly sorry. I fully understand (and am not upset in the least) if some of my readers opt to no longer comment if I’m not able to comment on their sites. Please know that I will always give it my “fighting best” when it comes to staying abreast with your comments, but that sometimes doing so isn’t possible for me.

I need your advice. I will always permit comments on my posts, and I love hearing from you all, but I do not know how to approach the fact that sometimes I’m simply not able to keep up with your comments. What do you suggest I do?

As my readers, will some of you be hurt if, from time to time, I’m not able to comment as frequently on your posts as you may on mine? How to I determine what a good balance of time spent on replying to comments is? Perhaps is there something I can do to make up for not being able visit you on certain days?

Am I, as I know my very level headed husband would likely say, worrying about this perceived issue too much? Please, I implore you, tell me how you would handle this situation if you were in my shoes? (Yes, I do see the irony in asking for comments.)

With every fiber of my being, thank you for reading this post and for your impute, sweet friends.