10 harsh truths that will make you a better blogger

Last month we took a look at 30 tips that will help you succeed as a new blogger, and today I'd like to delve into a related topic. It’s one that might be seen as the less glamorous side of blogging, but which most bloggers, especially those whose sites develop even a moderate degree of success are likely to encounter, or need to be aware of, as their life on the blogging front advances.

These points have been swirling around in my head for quite some time, and there have been moments when I've almost written a post devotedly solely to each, but haven’t as of yet, ultimately because the gist of each can be covered in an a small number of paragraphs.

I'm not delving into these topics today to scare anyone away from blogging or to create undo stress, quite the opposite actually. By being aware that you might run into these kinds of scenarios, you'll likely find yourself in a better position to tackle them if they do arise. Not all of the following are wholly negative, but they're not necessarily what I'd consider to be the most gloriously enjoyable elements of blogging either. They’re real life, plain and simple.




1. Just because you created a blog, it doesn't mean you've pulled an audience out of thin air: We discussed this topic in last month's post, but it's worth chatting about a little further here, because it's really something that I receive a lot of comments about from both new and longstanding blogs alike. Unless you're bringing an audience with you from elsewhere, have some degree of notoriety online or off, are doing something absolutely groundbreaking, or just happen to luck out bigger than if you found that elusive pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, chances are you're not going to amass an audience, let alone a big one, over night.

Growing your audience and creating a devoted group of return readers, takes work and time. Lots of time, and you have to be willing to put in the legwork required to, at the very least, get the ball rolling there. Three of the best ways to do that are to be an active blogging community member and commenter (on other peoples' sites), post quality content on a regular basis, and guest blogging on another (established) site. For various reasons, I've never done much in the way of that last one personally, but I've seen it work wonders for many folks who were just starting out or who were looking to expand their readership.


2. Chances are, you are your own harshest critic: And you already know it, even if you haven't admitted as much to yourself. Stop trying to constantly compare yourself to other bloggers and their sites, especially ones who have been around for years already. Take inspiration from them, sure, but don't feel like you're a failure because you're not emulating them and their success entirely. Chances are, at least part of the reason why they're successful is because they blazed their own path, and so should you.

Instead of criticizing and beating yourself up. Write a post, write two posts, heck, you're on a roll, write five posts today. Work hard, be dedicated, and create the kind of quality, engaging, informative, helpful, interesting, awesome and/or beautiful content that you'd be happy to read on someone else's site and chances are people will quickly start coming to your blog to do just that themselves.


3. You will get negative comments. And spam, and perhaps even hate mail. Yep, all of these stand to crop up sometimes amongst the bevy of (hopefully!) thoroughly positive, kind, friendly comments that you receive. Don't take it personally. Quite often there's an anonymous online troll behind them who's aim is simply to get you riled up. Don't give them the satisfaction. If a negative comment comes in by way of a legitimate blog reader, it's up to you if you want to approve and/or reply to it, but whatever the case may be, again, don't let it get into your head.

Not everyone is going to agree with everything that you write, your views on certain topics, the way in which you live your life, like you or your site, and so on. That's okay. It's their problem, not yours.

Occasionally harsh comments can even help us discover something about ourselves or our blog, or otherwise change our mindset in a positive way. This doesn't happen all the time, but it can, and it's a good example of hunting down a silver lining in the midst of a negative experience.


4. There will be times when the last thing on the face of the planet that you feel like doing is blogging. It doesn't matter how much you're wild about blogging, pretty much no one brings their A-game all the time or feels like they could write a killer post every second of every day. Life is so much more than what we do online (or at least, it should be), and sometimes there are reasons stemming from the offline (or the online, too) world that have lead us to a moment (or a week, etc) where we just aren't in the blogging zone. If your blogging mojo is a funk, you may find the seven tips in this post from 2012 to be helpful.

Don't force it. In all likelihood, the desire and drive to write again will be back before you know it. Get out, enjoy your day, go inspiration hunting, throw a dinner party, take your best friend thrift store shopping, whatever you're heart desires. Unless you're working on some kind of time sensitive deadline, chances are, you don't truly have to write that day, so why force what doesn't want to come?



5. You will frequently, if not, on a daily basis have people emailing you asking you to promote their brand/company/product/site/band/indie film/photography exposition/startup/etc for free. I'm all for helping people out, I really am, but just because someone asks you to promote something for you, doesn't mean that you have to, especially if they're not happily offering to compensate you in some respect (money, free products, promoting your site in turn, etc) up front from the get go.

As your blog grows in popularity, you will likely encounter more and more of these kinds of requests, many of which are complete and utter boilerplate that the company (or what have you) is sending out to hundreds, if not not thousands of bloggers, in the hopes that they'll get at least a few who will give them completely free publicity.

One surefire way to recognize this kind of message is when it arrives and doesn't address you by your first name, or it addresses you by the name of your blog, though certainly boilerplate can include your real name, too. If it starts out with generic statements like, "Hey, I really like your site and think you've written some great posts there!", chances are, the sender is attempting to flatter you with insincere compliments in the hopes that you'll feel more favourably about them and their request.

Bloggers are professional people in their own right, not free billboards, and though, especially when you're just starting out, it can be tempting to say yes to every such request that comes your way, please remember to keep your time and integrity in mind and to only do pro bono work on behalf of total strangers when you really and truly want to, not simply because you were asked.

If you're thinking about working on behalf of someone else in this capacity, don't be shy to ask outright for some form of compensation that you'd be satisfied with. You wouldn't expect a doctor, lawyer, teacher, engineer, wedding planner, computer programmer, or any other professional to work for free, just because they were sent an email request to do so. Why should successful bloggers be viewed or treated any differently?


6. Sometimes you really, really need to step back and take a breather. I don't mean a break from blogging (aka, a blogcation) per se, no, in this instance, I'm talking about those times when someone does and/or says something that instant gets your blood boiling, hurts your feelings, insults or otherwise upsets you. Even if you're the most easy going person in the world, you loath "getting into it" with people, and you try to keep a calm temper and level head as much as possible, there will be times when it takes every last drop of willpower you have in you not to launch a strongly worded, to put it mildly, reply off in the face of the heightened emotions that you're experiencing.

There may be instances when doing so is more than warranted and worth going ahead with, but other times, it's best to stop, pause, regroup your thoughts, possibly discuss the situation with an impartial third party, and wait a little while before you reply, if you opt to at all.

Every once in a blue moon when I find myself in this kind of spot, I'll write my reply (say, in a private Word doc) and never send it. Just getting my side of how I truly feel about the situation down on virtual paper can often be all it takes to ensure that level heads prevail and that whatever the issue is, it doesn't risk growing out of proportion needlessly. ("Sleeping on" your reply, aka, waiting a day or two to respond, can also often help tremendously in this regard.)


7. People will rip your work off: Blogging may not be the same thing as designing a product, painting a masterpiece, writing a song, or pioneering a new idea, but that doesn't mean that strangers, fellow bloggers, and sometimes even friends, won't blatantly copy your idea for a post. Sometimes, this can be a great thing, especially if they start out by giving credit (and linking) to you and your blog, and explaining that their post was inspired by your work.

Other times however, it will sting and unless someone has actually lifted your writing (instead of just your post idea), which falls into copyright infringement territory, chances are, there will be nothing (positive) that you can do about it. As much as it can feel like a slap in the face when you see this happen, just take a deep breath and remind yourself that sometimes imitation is, as the old saying goes, the greatest form of flattery.


8. It's really, really, really hard to earn a livable wage from blogging: Now granted, you may have zero desire or plans to do so, but if you are, you need to be painfully realistic with yourself and to approach the way in which you blog from a very professional mindset. Are there people makes a living, even a great living, just from blogging? You bet, but for every Darren Rowse out there, there are thousands, if not millions, who are earning little to nothing from their blogging efforts.

If you choose to use your blog to help grow, or be your whole, income, don't go into things blindly or with the belief that everything will just magically fall into place, that money will rain down on your lovely little blog from the heavens, and that you'll soon be off traveling the world and blogging from posh hotel rooms. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but that's the kind of financial success exceedingly few bloggers ever get anywhere near achieving, and which (again) many have zero desire to aim for.

Whether you blog as a way of generating income or not, building an excellent site that engages readers, consistantly sees a bigger audience, and which people are apt to talk about, takes - as we've discussed above - a really substantial amount of time, effort, and love for what you're doing. Start down the path with those three things in check and chances are you'll be able to find ways - such as paid blog sponsors, affiliate programs, text link ads, and Amazon Associates - to monetize your blog and reward yourself financially for the diligent effort that you're putting into your site day in and day out.


9. You will make mistakes and regret certain things: From hideous templates to having music blaring on your sidebar to posting about things that, ultimately, you may wish you hadn't, along the way you'll make some mistakes. It's not the end of the world, and no one is expecting you to be perfect. Take stock of what you wish you could have done differently, and then either make those changes or try not repeat your mistakes a second time.

When I look back over nearly five years of Chronically Vintage's life, something that teeters on being a regrettable mistake for me was a year long project that I launched in 2011 called Vintage 365, which consisted of me putting up a brand new post everyday. This side of things, though not the easiest walk in the park, isn't what I regret. The mistake that I made was to undertake this twelve month project at a time when my health was, at best, allowing me to be on the computer for perhaps a combined total or an hour most days. Because that hour went to writing the next day's post, I wasn't able to stay as active in the blogging community nor to comment on other peoples' sites very often, and as a result, few of all those posts throughout the year received the kind of reaction from my readers that I'd grown accustomed to in the two years of vintage blogging I'd enjoyed before it.

If I could back in time to January 1, 2011, would I launch this project again? No, not if my health was in the same spot, not by a long shot. I tried something new, I wrote a lot of posts (many of which I loved creating at the time), I challenged myself and I saw that project through the end. It might not have gone as ideally as possible, but it wasn't a complete train wreck either, and I learned a lot of valuable lessons about blogging (including how fleeting large audiences can be) that have served me wonderfully ever since (so in that respect, maybe it was worthwhile after all).


10. Sometimes you need to step outside of your comfort zone: I don't mean that you need to pose naked on camera, take up skydiving, or start breeding poisonous snakes - though you're more than welcome to, if you so feel inclined. No, what I mean is that sometimes if it can be easy, all too easy, to fall into a rut of posting the same old, same old kind of comfy, cozy posts. They may be great, but even the best dessert becomes a bit boring if you eat it everyday.

If you know what kinds of posts work well for you, that's awesome - you're honestly a big step ahead of some of your fellow blogging peers - but don't let a successful formula risk being your undoing. Every now and then, post about something new, unique or just plain silly, even if doing so feels a bit strange or tricky, and get people talking! (Some of my more off-the-wall posts over the years have been devoted to topics as diverse as 5 items I would never wear, Jane Austen's Fight Club, and Bigfoot).




{Just like buildings muscles, successful blogging requires knowledge, time, effort, and dedication. It isn't always a bed of roses and sometimes one faces less-than-ideal situations and harsh truths, but chances are you'll be able to tackle these challenges head on and ultimately flourish because of, not in spite of, them. Image source.}

♥  ♥  ♥

I love blogging. Not a little, not moderately, but rather entirely. I flat out love it from the very depth of my soul. Blogging, especially if you're a highly active blogger, can be akin to, if not your actual, full time job and just as with any career choice or interest that you devote yourself to extensively, there are going to be bumps in the road, people who upset or annoy you, sticky situations, and stressful moments here and there. This is normal. Very normal. Blogging, like life, is not all sunshine and lollipops and companies wanting to give you free products to review 24/7. Nor should it be.

A little adversity, problem solving, and working on how best to handle those kinds of people who really get under your skin builds character and makes you not only a better person, but a better blogger. I'm not suggesting you go out of your way to incite problems for yourself, goodness, no! Instead, that when issues does arise, try to keep in mind that in every negative, there is a takeaway lessen to a learn which can help you handle the same kind of scenario in an even more positive, knowledgeable and confident manner the next time around (because, and here's another honest truth, for you, chances are there will be a next time).

Ideally, you want blogging to be a fun, rewarding, happy, and at times, enjoyably challenging, experience and process. You've heard me say it many times before, but I'll say it again: If you frequently find that you don't like/are highly stressed out by/no longer enjoy blogging, it's time to do a bit of soul searching and perhaps a 180 on your site. Not every blog is destined to succeed, flourish, or last forever, plain and simple.

There may be circumstances in your life which need to take prescience over blogging or which consume so much of your time that you're not able to devote yourself to your site as much as you'd like to. That's okay. Really, it is. You tried, you likely had a good time for a while, you probably learned a number of interesting and valuable things, and you've got some terrific memories to look back on (plus, there's nothing to stop you from blogging again in the future; remember, the moment does equate to eternity).

Even if your blog contributes to some, or all, of your livelihood, it shouldn't feel painful, overly monotonous, tedious or like something you've come to dread. There's no way you're going to give yourself, or your readers, your best writing if it does. Revamp your site, shake things up, get creative, enlist the help of friends, be honest with yourself and your readers, and start making the changes you need so that the joy and sense of wonder that blogging can impart find their way back into your life.

Not everyone who blogs will run into all of these scenarios, but again, if your blog is starting to become well know, highly trafficked, and/or publicized, chances are that you'll face at least a few of them (plus others that we didn't even touch on here). Try not to worry about them. At the end of the day, you want to ensure that you're blogging for yourself first and foremost, that you're happy, and that you're having a blast.

Be true to yourself, stand your ground when truly needed, make peace with the fact that not everyone will "get", like, or necessarily even be nice to you, and don't be afraid to just roll with the punches. As the old axiom says, you can't please all of the people all of the time, so don't even try.

To thine own self - and thine own blog - be true and you will most likely find that you have what it takes to handle and overcome those inevitable rough patches you’ll find yourself staring into the eyes of every now and then.